I can't imagine being a die-hard fan of this series, with it from the beginning, loving each installment, waiting that several year gap from Part 5 to Part 6, waiting for answers, and...having this turd pooped upon you. I was a relative n00b to the franchise when this movie was released and even *I* thought it was junk.
The movie is notorious for the problems which plagued production, so the theatrical cut is pretty sloppy and the work of many cooks. We're not given much in the way of explaining what happened at the end of Part 5, and if you hadn't already seen the movie or read about the producer's cut, chances are you won't be able to make much sense out of what they give you. Because this is the one that goes all-in with the Thorn cult stuff, a plot development everyone seemed to dislike in test screenings, so it's hacked and slashed and reshot and replaced, yet still lingers over the movie and...is a mess.
I never really liked when later (inferior) sequels tried to tack on explanations for everything. Michael in the first movie was a normal kid who one night snapped and never came back. He was institutionalized and escaped and ran around his hometown killing teen girls, just as he did his own sister. Part of the scare is not really knowing for sure what drove Michael, and Loomis' bombastic speeches just made you wonder. Obviously, that's not something that can be sustained for sequels, and people are going to want to know the whys-and-hows by a certain point, but...Jesus, come up with something better than Part 6 did. It's way, way too cute and on the nose. The Druid cult selecting someone to bear the curse of the Thorn rune, that person then devoting their life to wiping out their bloodline as a sacrifice to spare others, and the stars align making the Thorn symbol usually on Halloween, which explains where Michael goes in between the passage of shitty sequels. I mean...Jesus. This is like revealing Freddy Krueger was the son of Mr. Sandman and Sleeping Beauty, and he was an insomniac who was jealous of people sleeping and that's why he kills people in their sleep. Why don't you just add that Michael was upset that Judith didn't take him trick-or-treating while you're at it? (Oh, wait...)
Sad thing is, you have a weak storyline, but I don't actually think the actors or lead characters are that bad. Marianne Hagan is appealing and turns in a good performance, bringing a maturity to the franchise as Kara Strode; Devin Gardner, as her son Danny, is surprisingly good for a kid actor, when kid actors -- especially in horror -- are usually weak or grating. You care for Kara and Danny, and there's a sad and pathetic quality to the Tommy Doyle character. Traumatized from the first movie, he's become a recluse who's devoted to tracking Michael, half-praying Michael stays away, half-praying he comes back so he can settle the score of the past. The problem with Tommy is Paul Rudd, who just goes too far in making Tommy "kooky," giving him these tics and mannerisms and very bizarre reactions to situations which end up making Tommy actually seem more mental than Michael.
Maybe the whole Thorn cult thing, and their attempt to groom Danny as Michael's replacement, could have worked with more time and effort. Who knows? I don't really like it, but I guess it's a kind of interesting way to show basically what happened to Michael without showing what happened to *Michael*, since it's a similar situation, but playing out with the Danny character. After six sequels, Michael's run out of family to kill (ridiculous plot point, anyway), so the cult is after a replacement, and they choose Danny. Danny being a normal kid, but one the same age as Michael when he first killed, one who begins to have disturbing dreams and visions and hear voices. See, Rob Zombie? We didn't need an hour of Michael's ripped-from-Jerry-Springer origin.
But we know Halloween fans want Michael Myers, not Danny Strode, so we know Michael's going to win (win?) in the end. (I assume that's why he kills all of the cult members in the disco operating room in that horribly directed scene with the strobe light. Michael seems pretty chill with being replaced in the director's cut. The whole final scene with the cult ceremony being performed and Michael just standing there is pretty silly. While it makes more sense with what the movie was setting up, I can see why people complained that there needed to be a new final act. Because Paul Rudd laying down some runes and Michael dropping dead? Anticlimactic compared to Paul Rudd beating the ever-loving snot out of Michael in revenge. Really, Michael's face gets covered in green goo -- snot, right?)
The supporting characters are thinner, but at least played by tolerable people. There are no Tinas here. (Well, the actor who plays Kara's dad is a weak link. He looks and acts like one of Tom Wilson's terrible Biff variations. I know we're meant to hate the guy, but did he have to be such a goddamn cartoon?) It sucks that Danielle Harris gets replaced, but it sucks even more that Jamie is just uneventfully killed in the first act. (I like that she survives her encounter with Michael in the producer's cut, but being killed in a hospital bed by a random goon is an even more uneventful death for the character.)
And for the most lackluster reveal in horror history we have...the revelation of the Man in Black! Oh, boy! Who could it be? I'm sure Halloween fans all over had a theory. (I still remember watching Part 5 with my horror-obsessed aunt and her shouting with certainty "It's Jamie Lee! It's Jamie Lee!" I had no idea who it could be, but I was puzzled as to how the fuck she came to that conclusion.) Who is it!? And it's revealed to be...Dr. Wynn? Who the fuck is that? And is his actor...Dickhead from Liar Liar? (Sorry, Mitch Ryan. You might have a career that goes back decades, and you might have played Riker's dad on Star Trek: TNG, but I'm always just going to call you Dickhead.) Wait, what? How the fuck does Dickhead fit into the picture? Who is he, even? Oh, a character briefly introduced at the start of this movie, some doctor friend of Loomis' who's secretly the head of the Thorn cult, Michael's protector, and also wants Loomis to join as a member.
Apparently Dickhead didn't watch any of the previous movies, because he should know Loomis wouldn't want to join his cult, but...hey, that's what you call a case of the Shit Sequel! Dickhead in a cowboy hat, the reveal nobody wanted! I know writer Daniel Farrands wrote the part of Dr. Wynn with Christopher Lee in mind, which would only have been cool by virtue of being Christopher Lee, because this flimsy character who popped up out of nowhere would have still been disappointing.
Anyway, I think a better choice for the Man in Black would have been...wait for it...Conal Cochran! Yeah, tie Halloween III into things! Cochran was at least a warlock who was into all of the old Samhain traditions, it could have worked to have him revealed to be the one controlling/watching over Michael. What's that? The first Halloween movie is shown to be just a movie in Halloween III? Cochran was killed? Well...who cares? That's something the fans could have debated for years and cooked up theories for. "Why's Halloween and Michael Myers just a movie in the world of Halloween III, and yet a character from Halloween III pops up in one of the Michael Myers movies?" "Maybe it WASN'T Halloween, but a movie based on the events of the first one that Dr. Challis was watching?" "How did Cochran return?" At least you know the Cochran character, at least Dan O'Herlihy is an entertaining performer, at least it would have made some sense. You might have even cared about the reveal!
Loomis update: after apparently losing his mind in the previous sequels, he's pretty relaxed here, just retired and living in the countryside, even though...c'mon, you know he wouldn't just mellow out like that. Because of Pleasence's declining health, he's not given much to do. And because of his declining health, Loomis is given two fates: in the producer's cut, he's selected by a dying Wynn to become the new Man in Black and be Michael's watcher, which I really don't like -- it doesn't make sense to me to doom the character like that, tying our hero to his worst nightmare. In the theatrical cut, Michael's body is seen vanished and you hear Loomis screaming off-screen, but I don't like to think of Michael just nerpling him to death, either. On one hand, this is a sad note for Pleasence to end on, but on the other, I guess at least Loomis was helpful and friendly in this one, not the jerko nutter he was in 5, so that's a plus. But, man, it would have been interesting to see if they would have included him in H20, and how he would have fit in there. I've always wondered if he would have been the one killed off in the first scene rather than Nurse Chambers...that movie plays like Jamie Lee's vanity project, with no room to share it with Loomis.
Unintentionally hilarious unscary scene: the movie tries not once, but TWICE to make an agitating washing machine scary.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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